Sunday, September 22, 2019

Exceeded Expectations




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It was 31 years ago this week that I met Himself and with this otherwise insignificant anniversary, we have been manacled together now for half of my life.  My children are healthy and employed.  I gloat, perhaps kidding myself, that they have less baggage for which I am to blame than I had with my own mother.  As I find my withering body more and more resembling that of Adele, I’ve grown more tender and fear that my encroaching decrepitude will cause my children to grow impatient and short with me and that based on my treatment of my own mother, I will deserve it.  But lately, my guilt has been assuaged a bit because, and I’m not sure what’s triggered this, some examples of my mother’s capacity for cruelty, towards me and also others, has seeped into my forefront.

I very much like the assistant principal who supervises me.    I am given amazing latitude and compensation to engage in activities to better my practice of teaching.  She asks me to attend a training meeting on a Friday and it is only because she has been so great to me that I agree to put on a bra and drive a few blocks to the conveniently nearby school where it is being held.  I arrive at 1:29 for a 1:30 meeting and find that it is not being held in the same room as other meetings there have.  There is a sign on the second-floor stairwell indicating that the meeting is upstairs, and I spend twenty minutes trying to find the stairwell to the non-existent 3rd floor of the cavernous building.  When I note, upon my tardy arrival, the misleading sign, the facilitator’s response is that she used to get lost at the school too. 

There is another facilitator too.  She is facilitating in order to make a video tape for a graduate program she’s in and doesn’t even work for the department hosting the session.  We have to sign a media release and it was all I could do to keep myself from red-lining it, as I do to many of the footage licenses that my clients provide.  She gives us little puzzle pieces to answer questions on.  I don't gibe with my partner and miswrites things that I suggest and writes the wrong way on the pieces so that they do not fit together when placed on the sharing board.  

I’d expect a group of forty or so and plan on sitting in the back and playing Scrabble on my phone but there are only 7 other teachers.  We are shown 2 juvenile videos and then just a few minutes of the one that’s actually interesting.  There are gimmicky discussion prompts and crappy snacks.  I also discover that this is just the first of a series of monthly Friday meetings that my assistant principal has suckered me into.

Wilma, my needy morning student who has cancer, is hospitalized this week.  She sends me a picture of herself hooked up to an IV drip.  This particular photographer has some sort of psychic pathology, so this is certainly not out of character, but I notice, on social media, that many people share hospital pictures.  I get the beaming, exhausted new mom with a tiny infant but I fail to understand why anyone would ever take any other sort of a hospital bed photo.

The morning class is tiny, and mostly young mothers.  There is one woman in her eighties with cataracts and a hearing impairment.  The other students help her through the materials, but it feels a bit like adult daycare.  All of the students are sweet but as cloistered, stay at home moms, they lack the verve of my lively evening class.

There are sixty students enrolled in evening ESL. Usually about 45 attend and teaching the big room energizes me.  Most are beginning beginners and we do a lot of alphabet work and practice reciting our phone numbers and addresses.  Every semester a couple of students get on my radar as folks I can do a bit more for than just teaching beginning English.

Carmen, with intelligent eyes, always sits in the front and quietly answers just about every question correctly.  She is extremely bashful.  I pull her aside and commend her smarts.  I also ask her to be one of our student council representatives.  She is mortified but I push it a bit and encourage her to channel her braininess into some leadership.  I tell her to at least think about it.  She is absent the next night and misses the first meeting.  I feel like an asshole who’s frightened her away.  The following night she shows up and explains that she’d had to work late and asks me when the next meeting is.  I tell her how grateful I am that she’s not mad at me and send her around to help students who are struggling.

On the first night of class, Marvin, in his early twenties, is wearing the same Joy Division t-shirt that Number One Son wore for just about every day of high school.  I ask him if he likes New Order (not as much as Joy Division) and we talk about the suicide of Ian Curtis.   He likes rock and jazz and I encourage to listen to some Motown.  As his English is about the best in the class, I ask him to join Carmen as our student council representative.  He is leery but I promise that in exchange, I’ll give him a band to listen to every night, in exchange for his service.

I start with my own favorite, The Replacements.  He listens to Let it Be,  brilliant but early and rougher than their later albums.  “Did you like it?”  “It’s punk,” he says sort of dismissively.  I jot down a name of a few of their more produced albums and also, “Shoot Out the Lights” by Richard and Linda Thompson, which I expect he’ll like, as he’s into guitar and is a big fan of Nico.  This does elicit a favorable response.  Despite of his lukewarm Replacements response, on a whim, I recommend another Minneapolis band, jotting down Husker Du’s Zen Arcade.  This band he likes, and I decide to branch out a little. 

I scribble Paul Simon’s Graceland in his notebook.  He rolls his eyes and asks, “Simon and Garfunkel?” “Just listen,” I urge.  While Marvin is one of my best students, it is still a level one class and he struggles to express his startlingly sophisticated musical insights.  “Graceland?” I ask the next night.  He grows flustered and finally whips out is phone and taps something into the translator.  “It exceeded my expectations.”  He is very impressed by the impeccable production and the showcasing of world music.

Before setting up the home office, I have a painstakingly curated Napster playlist and music plays all through my working day.  The combination of working from home and the 2016 election has resulted in an “all -news, all the time” diet.  My Napster account is cancelled. But Marvin’s joy in discovering new sounds has made me think seriously about music for the first time since the election.  I’ve been listening to CDs in the car and in the classroom while I’m getting ready to teach. I realize that depriving myself of music because democracy is in jeopardy really accomplishes nothing.  Dusting off my old CDs raises my spirits.  2020 will bring the fight of our lives and I will be better fortified by the joy of music than the constantly dispiriting and disgusting newsfeed.

The benefit of my tiny morning class is that I have the opportunity for some intensive conversation practice.  I wish that my sweet young mothers had something more interesting to say.  About twenty minutes before the end of the night class I order them to tell me something before they go home.  “Spell your last name.  Remember that “eh” in Spanish is “ay” in English.”
“Tell me your mother’s name.”  I never ask for the father’s name, always afraid that there’s someone who doesn’t know.   This week, I instruct them to complete the sentence, “I love…”
“I love my family.”  “I love my wife.”  A couple “I love Jesuses.”  Mr. “I love shoes,” is indeed wearing a snappy pair of orange and green Nikes.  But there are inordinate number of “I love my Teacher,” followed by hugs and Teacher getting a bit snarfly. 

A couple students hang out after class.  Blanca, from Medellin Columbia, is a civil rights attorney.  She met and fell in love with an American businessman, and here she is.  Haroldo, shares my affinity for true crime.  He says it drives his wife insane and I suggest that the “wife cancelling” headphones that Himself swears by, are likely available in a “husband cancelling” version.  As soon as Blanca utters Medellin, Haroldo and I simultaneously blurt “Narcos!”  “Yeah,” says Blanca.  “Everyone says that.  I’ve lived it, so I don’t find it entertaining.”  We apologize for offending her but do get her to admit that Wagner Moura, who plays Pablo Escobar, is incredibly sexy. 

Himself is valiantly attempting to maintain spirits despite a heavy course load and a moonlighting gig all the way down in Irvine.  Spuds is walks over to Dodger Stadium to enjoy the end of the season and is doing a lot of serious writing.  Number One calls me to report that they’ve foraged a couple of pounds of chanterelles and ask for some cooking advice.  Given that my nation is in peril, this is a good as it gets.  Pretty good and relatively guilt-free.


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