Friday, April 7, 2017

sixtynothing Episode 25 Scrabble



FADE IN
HELEN AND INEZ ARE UNLOADING BAGS FROM THE CAR WHICH IS PARKED IN FRONT OF A RUSTIC HOME, SURROUNDED BY GREENERY.  HELEN EXAMINES INEZ FROM A NUMBER OF DIFFERENT ANGLES.

HELEN
Hair's good. 

INEZ
Not too red?

HELEN
No, it's nice and she did a good job on your eyebrows too.  God, I don't remember the last time my heart went pitty pat with the anticipation of a boyfriend. I'm jealous.

INEZ
I'm a nervous wreck.  It's so stupid. God, I'm sixty two years old.  But this will be our longest time together and I can't stop thinking about all the things that could go wrong.  

HELEN
Well, we get to meet Matt this time.  You promised.

INEZ
I can't stop thinking about all the things that could go wrong.

HELEN
Well, Aunt Norma will keep your mind off of it for a few hours.

INEZ
Yeah, belittling me a Scrabble.  Really Helen.  I don't want to play.

HELEN
Oh come on Nezzie. It's just a game.

INEZ
Bull.  You guys are evil.

THE FRONT DOOR OPENS AND DAVID, AN IMPECCABLY GROOMED MAN IN HIS SEVENTIES GREETS HELEN AND INEZ WITH HUGS AND HELPS THEM CARRY IN THE BAGS.

HELEN
I brought those Vietnamese sandwiches she likes and I baked the almond cookies for you guys.

DAVID
What a sweet girl you are.  Listen darling, Hilda is still helping Auntie with her ablutions and I have to make a quick trip to the pharmacy.  Norma will be out in a few minutes so just make yourselves at home for a bit.  

DAVID EXITS

INEZ
God, I love it here.  It's exquisite but totally lived in.  And man, what a view.

HELEN
Lemme show you her office.

CUT TO
INEZ AND HELEN IN NORMA'S OFFICE.  THERE ARE SHELVES OF BOOKS AND A WALL COVERED WITH PHOTOGRAPHS.

HELEN (POINTING TO A PHOTO)
That's Norma and my mom, and my Uncle Seymour and my Grandma.

INEZ
You look like your Grandma.  

HELEN
My mom was always embarrassed by her.  Said she was frumpy and unsophisticated. And Norma, of course, was a disheveled beatnik.

INEZ
Well, Edie was fancy schmancy.

HELEN
You know that she and Norma went for decades without speaking.  Something about a nose job.  I never got the straight story. But in the end, just as Edie was starting to lose it, somehow they patched things up. Norma was with her when she died.

INEZ (pointing to a photo of Norma in her WAC uniform)
Norma right?

HELEN
Yup.  Serving her country.  She was at a base on the British coast.  That's where she met Randolph.

INEZ
I saw Censor.

HELEN
Oh, she hated that movie.  They turned it into a romance.  She was furious. I have the book if you ever want to read it.  It's really harrowing.  Can you imagine what it must have been like to read and censor all those letters to and from the soldiers at the front?  She was younger than Hannah.  But she did get her PhD on the G.I. Bill.

INEZ
It never even occurred to me that women in the service would be eligible for that education stuff.

HELEN
They had to fight for it and make a lot of fuss.

INEZ (pointing to another photo)
Oh my God!  That's Norma with Eleanor Roosevelt!

HELEN
Yeah, Norma was an adviser when they started the United Nations.

HELEN (pointing to another picture)
Know who that is?

INEZ
It's Norma, but who's the other woman?

HELEN
Hannah Arendt.   Heard of her?

INEZ
Jeeze.  I may suck at Scrabble but I have been educated.  "The banality of evil..."

HELEN
They taught together at Wesleyan.  

HELEN (pointing to another picture of three men and Norma on the deck of a sailboat)
Check this out.

INEZ
Oh my God.  That's David.  And Norma and Randolph.  And that must be Walter.  He was so handsome and David was just gorgeous. God, he's still handsome but what a knock out...  

HELEN (pointing to another photo)
There they are with Christopher Isherwood. Walter was amazing.  He reminded me of Cary Grant. He was the first person I knew who died of AIDS.

INEZ
What, like 1983?

HELEN
Maybe '84.  Horrible horrible horrible. Burned in my psyche.  I can still conjure the odor.  David nursed Walter to the end.  And of course Norma would go next door and help out.

INEZ
Oh, they were neighbors?

HELEN
Oh, yeah.  That's how they met and became friends.  You don't know the story?

INEZ
What?

HELEN
Oh, the weirdest saddest thing you can imagine.  Walter was dying and Norma was helping David. They never said anything explicitly but I think they may have hurried things along a bit.  Norma stayed until the coroner left.  Then she came home and found that Randolph was dead on the kitchen floor. Aneurysm.  

INEZ
So they both lost their partners on the same day?

HELEN
Yeah.  They took it as some sort of omen. David moved in here and they rent out the house next door.

NORMA (from outside)
Is there someone snooping around in my office?

CUT TO-
NORMA, VERY OLD BUT ELEGANT AND HANDSOME ENTERS  USING A CANE, LED BY HER HELPER HILDA, OUT TO THE PATIO AND SEATED. INEZ AND HELEN FOLLOW. INEZ NOTICES A SCRABBLE BOARD SET UP ON A TABLE AND GIVES HELEN A DIRTY LOOK.  HELEN KNEELS AND KISSES NORMA AND RISES TO HUG HILDA.

HILDA
She's all ready to slaughter you at Scrabble. I'll see you tomorrow.
SHE EXITS

INEZ
Helen was just showing me the photos in your office....

NORMA
Oh, what a life you've lived old lady...

INEZ (STAMMERING)
I didn't mean...

NORMA
No, it's David.  He put all that stuff up. The little shrine. My grotto.  I know he means well but it feels reductionist.  She was here.  She was there. She met so and so. And there you have Norma Finer.  I'm ninety-six God dammit.  There's a helluva lot more than those pictures on the wall...

DAVID ENTERS

DAVID
Is she blathering on now about her rich and complicated inner life?  The razor sharp mind stuck in the decrepit body? I'm almost twenty five years younger and I take six different medications a day.  Norma takes a vitamin. Usually washed down with gin. We're stuck with the old bat.

NORMA
Pshaw!  If you're ninety-six and not thinking about the grim reaper, you're a moron.  And you know what pisses me off?

DAVID
That's a very long list. Shall I begin with "A"?

NORMA
I'd bore the hell of you if I were a sweet little old lady.  I spoke at Davis Meyer's funeral last month. And with that, there are none of my colleagues left to eulogize me. My books are all out of print.

DAVID
They'll trot out one of your grad students. And you had that article in The Journal of Social History just over a year ago.

NORMA
Well Inez, I hope you've been practicing your Scrabble...

CUT TO
THE FOUR ARE SEATED AROUND A SCRABBLE BOARD. NORMA USES A MAGNIFIER. DAVID POURS GIN. HELEN PICKS UP THE GAME BOX AND REMOVES A THICK SHEAF OF YELLOWED PAPERS

HELEN
Look, she's kept the scores of every game since the fifties.

NORMA
There's a bunch of them from when your grandma was still alive.

HELEN (looking through the papers)
Here's one of you and Grandma and my Mom. Grandma won.  Oh, here's my mom and dad and you and Randolph.  1954.  Mom won.  God, my dad sure sucked.

NORMA
That's who!  It's been bothering the life out of me.  I knew that Donald Trump reminded me of someone.  It's your dad!

HELEN
Yeah.  You sure ain't a sweet little old lady.  But the similarities had occurred to me.

NORMA
Your dad, well at least as far as I know, wasn't that crooked.  But he sure was hungry for approval.

HELEN
Actually, pretty crooked. And like Cheeto, 3 wives, two foreign born.

NORMA
Well, you know. It might be nice not to kick the bucket until the impeachment.  Nixon's was so divine.

INEZ FRANTICALLY ARRANGES AND REARRANGES HER TILES

DAVID
It's your turn Inez.

INEZ
Yeah.  Just a sec.

INEZ VERY TENTATIVELY PUTS SOME TILES ON THE BOARD.  THE OTHER THREE ROLL THEIR EYES. HELEN GRABS INEZ'S TILE RACK AND PLOPS TILES DOWN ON THE BOARD.

DAVID
OK, That's Q on a triple word, two for the D....fifty two points.

INEZ
QI?  QI is a word?

ALL THREE IN UNISON
YES!

THE OTHER THREE TAKE THEIR TURNS QUICKLY. DAVID KEEPS SCORE WITHOUT HAVING TO LIFT THE TILES.

INEZ
Oestral?  What's oestral?  Is that a word?

DAVID
I wouldn't challenge her.

HELEN
Oestral.  Means fertile.  As in "Inez, since menopause, is no longer oestral and will therefore not require contraception when her boyfriend arrives.

NORMA
Inez, your turn.

INEZ STARES AT HER TILES AND REARRANGES THEM AGAIN AND AGAIN.

NORMA
Edie was always attracted to vapid, handsome men...our Helen is much smarter.

HELEN
You're saying that my dad was vapid?  Inez, are you ever going to move?

INEZ GRIMACES AND CONTINUES LOOKING AT THE BOARD AND HER TILES

NORMA
Your father could be very charming dear but lord knows, he was no Wittgenstein.

HELEN GRABS INEZ'S TILES, GLANCES AT THE BOARD AND PLOPS DOWN A WORD

DAVID
Gardyloo?

NORMA
Should we challenge it?

DAVID
Nah.  Helen knows better than to try anything untoward.

THE THREE TAKE THEIR TURNS QUICKLY, DAVID CONTINUING TO KEEP SCORE.

NORMA
Ian on the other hand, I like very much. If you have to choose between looks, money and brains, I think brains is the most enduring. At least you can have deep conversations when you're too old to screw... 

DAVID (to Norma)
What a vulgar old bat you are. Did you tell Helen about New York?

NORMA
I'm not going to New York.

DAVID
The Society of Social Historians wants to give her a life achievement award. I really think we could manage the trip.

NORMA
I don't want to manage the trip.  Being pushed around the airport in a wheelchair. Everyone talking down to me like I'm three years old.  Or admiring my pluckiness.  I don't need to go anywhere.  I have my friends and my garden.  We have the Netflix.  And Helen showed us how to run those podcasts that we listen to with dinner.  Why should I go anywhere?  I've been everywhere I ever wanted to go.  And to a lot of places I didn't want to go to.  Well, I would have liked to see India...

DAVID
You'd have gotten diarrhea.  Inez dear, it's your turn.

INEZ STARES AT THE BOARD CATATONIC,  HELEN GRABS HER TILES AND PLOPS DOWN A WORD

DAVID AND NORMA
Beazort?

DAVID
Challenge?

NORMA
No, add up the points so we can eat.

DAVID
Hah!  Inez is the winner.  368 points.

CUT TO
INEZ AND HELEN IN THE CAR

HELEN
I always think it'll probably be the last time I see her.  Someday it will be.  Soon I imagine.

INEZ
Glad you brought me.

HELEN
I made up "beazort."

INEZ
Daddy's girl.

FADE OUT


Friday, March 31, 2017

sixtynothing Episode 24 Praises and Consolations



FADE IN
HELEN AND INEZ ARE IN THE PARKING LOT OF THE SILVER LAKE 99¢ STORE. A TOW TRUCK IS HITCHING A BIG WHITE CONVERTIBLE.

HELEN
Tourists...

INEZ
For sure.

CUT TO
INEZ AND HELEN, WITH FULL CARTS, WAIT IN A LONG LINE OF DIVERSE CUSTOMERS TO CHECK OUT AT THE 99¢ STORE.

CUT TO
99¢ STORE PARKING LOT.  HELEN AND INEZ ARE LOADING THEIR BAGS INTO THE CAR.  A YOUNG COUPLE, PAINFULLY OUTFITTED TOWARDS "FITTING IN" TO THE SILVER LAKE SCENE STAND, BEFUDDLED.

INEZ
Looking for a white convertible?

MAN (German accent)
Yeah.  It was parked here.

HELEN
This parking is only for the store.  They towed your car.

MAN
What? We were parked there for just a few minutes

INEZ (points to sign)
See, it says you can only park for the store.  You'll need to call the number on the sign.

HELEN
You'll have to take an Uber to the tow yard.  Ask them how much it will be. Probably around three hundred dollars.  And they'll make you pay in cash.

MAN
Oh my God.  I can't believe it!

INEZ
Yeah.  And we elected Trump too.

CUT TO 
INEZ AND HELEN USE PLASTIC FORKS TO EAT SALADS OUT OF PLASTIC BOXES AT A GELSON'S TABLE

HELEN
I could listen to that Michael Flynn line about Hillary on an endless loop.

INEZ (In a stentorian voice)
Immunity means you probably committed a crime.

HELEN
Oh, my panties are getting moist.  Say it again.

INEZ
Immunity...

HELEN"S PHONE RINGS AND SHE ANSWERS

HELEN (ON PHONE)
Hey Bananie.  What?  What?  You're kidding!  Unbelievable.  You do? Why you?  Yeah.  Of course I'll go.  Drive carefully honey.  Call me from the road.  I'll see you tomorrow.
HELEN HANGS UP

INEZ
What's up?

HELEN
Jim Hirshman is dead.

INEZ
Holy shit!  

HELEN
Yeah, car accident on Sepulveda.  Yesterday morning.  Jason flew down from San Francisco last night. He asked Hannah to drive his car to L.A. The service is Sunday.

INEZ
Why'd he ask Hannah, of all people?

HELEN
I don't think any of the Hirshman's have nurtured a lot of genuine friendships.  I guess Hannah is as close as Jason gets.  Although he certainly isn't her favorite person.

INEZ
Yeah, but no matter.  So hard for a kid, even a young adult like Jason, to lose a parent.  And you know, Jim has a daughter, Vicki, by his first wife, I guess she's about thirty.  I know she was pregnant. Must have had the baby already.  So Jim's a grandpa too. 

HELEN
I haven't seen him since that lousy party over the holidays.  God he was an arrogant bastard.  But still, how sad.

INEZ
Because he was younger than we are?

HELEN
Yeah.

CUT TO HELEN AND HANNAH SHOPPING AT ANTHROPOLOGIE

HELEN
I can't believe that you don't have one dress you could have brought.

HANNAH
Nothing funeral-y.

HELEN
You don't have to wear black anymore you know.  Find something in the clearance room or we'll go to the Goodwill.

CUT TO HELEN AND HANNAH STANDING IN LINE AT THE GLENDALE EGGSLUT

HELEN
I don't see why you want to stand in this friggin' line.  You don't even like eggs that much.

HANNAH
I just wanna see what all the fuss is about.

CUT TO HELEN AND HANNAH SIT AT A TABLE PICKING AT EGG SANDWICHES

HELEN
Nine bucks for an egg on a bun.  

HANNAH (sarcastically)
It's organic.

HELEN
Yeah.  Whatever.  Now at least I can check it off the list.  Been there.  Ate that.
HELEN YAWNS EXPANSIVELY

HELEN
It was really sweet of you to drive Jason's car down.  You haven't really been close to him since about third grade.

HANNAH
Yeah. He asked and I felt bad for him.  For all his big talking I don't think he has a lot of friends.

HELEN
Chip off the old block.  And I'm sure Jason's brand new BMW had nothing to do with it.

HANNAH
Not a thing.  But, wow, what a sound system. Sirius radio.  Leather everything.

HELEN
It's still sad you know.  Hard for any kid to lose a parent.  No matter how much damage there is.  Jim was a couple of years younger than I am.

HANNAH
You know Mommy, your death obsession really freaks me out.

HELEN
I'm not obsessed.

HANNAH LIFTS AN EYEBROW

HELEN
I'm sorry it comes off that way Baby.  I guess at sixty I've drunken in so much life, so much world, that it's hard to face that one day I'll no longer be a part of it. And each day that gets closer.

HANNAH
It makes me feel like I'm inadequate, not doing right by you in some way.  Like if I'm not who you want me to be, you're going to punish me and die and won't I feel bad then?

HELEN
Oh shit. No! No! No!  Oh Bananie!  You're perfect.  You're fantastic.  You please me more than you'll ever know. You girls are the best thing I ever did with my life.  It's all my own stuff, this mortality thing.  Nothing to do with you guys. I had no idea you were taking it personally. Now I feel like a monster. 

HANNAH
I didn't mean that really. Chill Mommy.  I know it's hard when people younger than you are die.  I really do get it. And I know you worry about Emmy.  Even though she's a psycho little spazz, who's relegated all of us to a lifetime of poverty, I do love her.  I'll always love her. That's one thing you don't have to worry about. Promise.  

HELEN SQUEEZES HANNAH'S HAND.

CUT TO
HELEN, HANNAH AND INEZ SIT IN THE BACK ROW OF A CROWDED CHAPEL.  A RABBI LEADS THE SERVICE.

RABBI
For our friends who are unfamiliar with Jewish prayer, Jim's son Jason will now recite a translation of the Kaddish, the mourner's prayer.

CUT TO HANNAH, INEZ AND HELEN WHISPERING

INEZ
Are you going back to the house?

HELEN
I don't think so.  We really weren't that close.

HANNAH
They're having deli trays from Brent's.  Plus you have to come because I'm dropping Jason's car.

HELEN
You had me at Brent's.

CUT TO
JASON, IN TEARS, CONTINUES THE TRANSLATION OF THE KADDISH

JASON

...Beyond all the blessings, hymns, praises and consolations that are uttered in the world...

CUT TO HELEN AND INEZ DRIVING

HELEN
I do feel bad for Jason, as stuck up as he is.

INEZ
I screwed Jim.

HELEN
WHAT?

INEZ
Years ago.  When the kids were in nursery school. Liz was out of town. Nate was having a playdate with Jason and they were both asleep when I came to pick him up. Jim had a little hash...

HELEN
Jeeze Louise!

INEZ
To satisfy your prurient interests...Average size dick.  Mediocre fuck. Sucked my tits a lot. Sort of noisy.  Enough?

HELEN

Yup.

CUT TO
HELEN, INEZ AND HANNAH, SQUISHED TOGETHER ON A SOFA, EATING FROM PAPER PLATES.  A YOUNG WOMAN IN AN ARMCHAIR NURSES A BABY.  SHE RISES, PACES WITH THE BABY AND BURPS HER.  HELEN RISES AND APPROACHES.

HELEN
You must be Vicki.  I'm Helen.  We're friends of your dad's.

VICKI
You're Hannah's mom, right?  Jason pointed you out. It was so nice of her to bring his car.

HELEN
We're all so sorry.  What's baby's name?

VICKI
Her name's Jasmine.

HELEN
Oh, how pretty.  She's about six months right?

VICKI
Almost. Six months next week.

HELEN
Would you mind if I hold her for a bit?  I could use a little baby fix.

VICKI PASSES THE BABY TO HELEN.  HELEN HOLDS HER CLOSE, PATS HER AND PACES.  SHE RETURNS WITH BABY SLEEPING IN HER ARMS TO SIT ON COUCH BETWEEN HANNAH AND INEZ WHO LOOK AT THE BABY AFFECTIONATELY.  HELEN POINTS TO THE BABY AND THEN POINTS TO HANNAH AND NODS.

HELEN
But not too soon.  PLEASE!

THEY SIT QUIETLY FOR A MOMENT GAZING AT THE SLEEPING BABY.  ALL BEGIN TO SNIFF.  HELEN LIFTS THE BABY AND SMELLS HER BUTT.

HELEN
Needs a change.  Where's her mother?

FADE OUT


Friday, March 24, 2017

sixtynothing Episode 23 Yes, No, Maybe

FADE IN
HELEN DRIVES AND INEZ RIDES SHOTGUN.  HELEN'S PHONE RINGS AND SHE HITS SPEAKER

HELEN
Hi Emmy honey.  How goes it?

EMMA (over phone)
I'm fine Mommy...

HELEN
Mommy, huh?  How much do you need?

EMMA
I don't just call you Mommy when I need money.  I always call you Mommy.

HELEN
Uh huh...

EMMA
But...you know with the snowstorm I was off work for three days...

HELEN
How much?

EMMY
Maybe a hundred?

HELEN
Can you just buy what you need with a card?

EMMY
Yeah, sure.  The Travel Rewards?

HELEN
Nah.  I think that one's close to maxed out. Use the Amex.

EMMY
Thanks Mom.

HELEN
See. Now it's Mom.

EMMY
Oh quit it.  Are you driving?

HELEN
Yup.  Nezzy and I are going to a restaurant preview.

EMMY
Cool.  Your favorite.  Free food.  But what about your diet?

HELEN
Been good.  Won't embarrass you at graduation.  Eating well and walking five miles a day.  Plus the price of cigarettes doubles on April first and I am absolutely positively not buying any more.

INEZ ROLLS HER EYES

HELEN
Fuck off Nezzy.  I mean it.

EMMY (sarcastically)
Yeah Nezzy, she means it!

HELEN
Fuck you too!  

EMMY
Where's the restaurant?

HELEN
Highland Park.  York.  Remember where The Castanet used to be?

EMMY
Oh no!  The Castanet is gone.  I loved their machaca.  God the whole neighborhood's gone hipster.

HELEN
Yup.  This one's "modern Jewish food." Called Tchotchke.  Young gal chef who used to work for Roy Choi.  And we're driving up now. Remember to use the Amex and not the Travel Rewards card.  I'll talk to you tomorrow. Love you!

EMMY
Love you too MOMMY.  Bye.

INEZ
Helen, you know that if you ever need any money you just have to ask.

HELEN
I wish I could say that it will never come to that, but you never know.  How humiliating to be sixty years old and still be juggling bills and borrowing money.

INEZ
Yeah, well I know how different things would be it your pop believed in paying taxes.

CUT TO
HELEN AND INEZ MINGLE WITH EASTSIDE HIPSTERS AT A STARK MODERN RESTAURANT AS HORS D'OEUVRES AND DRINKS ARE PASSED.

A YOUNG TATTOOED GIRL AND HER FRIEND APPROACH HELEN

SUNNY
Hi Helen!  Remember me?

HELEN
Of course!  How are you Sunny?

THEY HUG

SUNNY (TO HER FRIEND)
Remember Hannah McIntyre from Marshall?

FRIEND
Oh, are you Hannah's grandma?

CUT TO
INEZ AND HELEN CONTINUE TO MINGLE AND SAMPLE THE FOOD BEING PASSED

AN OLDER WOMAN APPROACHES HELEN

WOMAN
You're Helen Holloway, right?

HELEN
Yes.  But I've been Helen McIntyre for over twenty five years.

WOMAN
I used to eat at your Dad's restaurant when I was a tiny girl.  It was so glamorous and full of movie stars and they used to fillet the fish and toss the salads right at the table. Then you took over, right?

HELEN
Yup.  I did.

WOMAN
I was so sorry when it closed.

HELEN
Me too.

CUT TO
1962

A LARGE BUSTLING RESTAURANT WITH TUXEDOED WAITERS AND CROWDED WITH BOISTEROUS CUSTOMERS IN EVENING CLOTHES.

A SIX YEAR OLD HELEN SITS AT THE BAR NURSING A SHIRLEY TEMPLE.

HAL (to bartender)
Cut her off the Shirley Temples Nick.  Switch her to Tab.  Her mother says she's getting fat.

HAL (to Helen)
Daddy has to work a little longer.

HELEN
But you said we were gonna go.  

HAL
I know Dolly but it's really busy and two waiters are out.  Daddy has to work to make sure Mommy gets her check.

HAL WORKS THE ROOM, GREETING CUSTOMERS, SHAKING HANDS, SLAPPING BACKS AND KISSING WOMEN.  A TIPSY COUPLE SITS ON BAR STOOLS NEXT TO HELEN

MAN
You know Hal's name isn't really Holloway.

WOMAN
Oh?

MAN
Yeah, it's Hirshfield, or Hebestein or something.

WOMAN (to Helen)

Are you the daughter?

HELEN
Hal's my dad.  He owns this restaurant.

WOMAN
Is your mom the first or second wife?

HELEN
The first.  The second is my stepmother.

WOMAN
You should tell your Mommy to straighten your hair.

MAN (TO WOMAN)
Yeah.   She looks like a schvartze.

CUT TO

YOUNG HELEN IS SLEEPING WITH HER HEAD ON THE BAR.  HAL IS SEEN IN THE BACKGROUND TALKING TO A WAITRESS.  SHE IS UNHAPPY.  HE REACHES INTO HIS POCKET AND SLIPS HER A FEW BILLS.

HAL GENTLY WAKES HELEN WHO LOOKS AT HIM WITH BLEARY EYES

HAL
Dolly, Daddy has to stay late.  There's a big wedding tomorrow and I have to help them get ready in the kitchen.  Connie is going to take you to sleep at her house.  It will be like a slumber party.  You'll have so much fun.

HELEN BEGINS TO WEEP

HAL
Dolly, you'll have a swell time with Connie. Daddy promises.  And I'll come early and get you and we'll go have pancakes at Dupar's before I take you back to Mommy.

CUT TO
PARKING LOT OF HOLLOWAY'S. CONNIE IS BEHIND THE WHEEL AND YOUNG HELEN IN THE PASSENGER SEAT CRYING.

CONNIE
Don't cry Helen.  I have the new Beatles record.  We can play it!

HELEN
Where's my suitcase?  It was in Daddy's office.

CONNIE
I'm sure Daddy will bring it when he picks you up tomorrow.

HELEN (wailing)
It has my nightgown.  And my toothbrush.  And my Barbies.

CONNIE
Ok honey.  Wait here.  I'll run in and get it for you.

CUT TO HAL AND A VERY SHAPELY YOUNG WOMAN. THEY LEAVE THE HOLLOWAY AND WALK TO HIS CAR. HE OPENS THE DOOR FOR HER AND KISSES HER NECK AND SLIDES HIS HAND DOWN HER REAR AS SHE GETS IN THE CAR.


CUT TO RESTAURANT OPENING.  SERVERS OFFER HELEN ITEMS FROM TRAYS AND SHE SADLY REFUSES. THE FEMALE CHEF LEAVES THE KITCHEN AND APPROACHES HELEN.

CHEF
Helen!  It's really an honor to have you here.

HELEN
Me?

CHEF
Will you come into the kitchen with me for a sec?

CUT TO 
THE CHEF OFFERS HELEN A SPOONFUL OF SOUP.

HELEN
Wow!

CHEF
Get it?

HELEN
It reminds me of my borsht.  Lovely.  Oh. There's sorrel.  So nice.  And all of the other food is amazing.

THE CHEF REACHES TO A SHELF AND PULLS DOWN A TATTERED DOGEARED COOKBOOK.  "HOLLOWAY" BY HELEN HOLLOWAY

HELEN
Oh my God. That was like 1979.

CHEF
Sorry it's so dirty but I use it all the time. I can't tell you how much I love it. Would you mind signing it?

SHE HANDS HELEN A PEN.  HELEN SIGNS THE BOOK.

HELEN
You've done a wonderful job dear.  It's absolutely spectacular.  Mazel Tov!

CHEF
The truth is that I'm terrified.

HELEN
Tell me about it.  But, you'll be fine.

CHEF
Do you miss running a restaurant?

HELEN REFLECTS ON THIS FOR A MOMENT.

HELEN
Yes....No...Maybe...