Sun on the Deck

During the remodeling, Himself and I were marooned in our bedroom for many more hours than usual. I was reminded of this long period barricaded there when the painters arrived Sunday morning at eight to complete the final phase. There was no Sunday Hebrew school and my usual farmer’s market run was impossible due to lack of kitchen access. We were wide awake as the painter’s radio blared below and we spent a cold morning in a warm bed. The remodeling was a nightmare. It ripped my family apart but exiled, as the rain fell Sunday morning, I examined the point on Himself’s shoulder blades where the freckles stop and discovered the surprising plumpness of his earlobes. I was reminded of Aliki tenderly caressing my father’s dead limbs, her final physical act in their 38 year marriage.

Being stranded in the bed with Himself while our kitchen was being made, increased our intimacy and when we return to our family space and shared meals I think our enhanced connection as husband and wife will make the time the four of us spend there more sweet. It was the two of us originally and then there were three and then four. Most likely at some point it will revert to the original two, who first lay together nearly twenty years ago in a tiny bed in an Echo Park cottage. My husband’s body and soul were once new to me. How familiar he has become over two decades.

There have been torrential rains. They subsided a bit on Saturday afternoon and I was able to sit on the deck and feel the sun on my face. The rain frightens me when it falls hard and I comfort myself knowing the spring will be a green one and that in between showers there are moments of sun on the deck. The rain will always frighten me and make me cling to Himself even more tightly. I comfort myself with the hope of knowing more and more the man with the fat earlobes who holds me in the dark. A stranger was sent to love me and I marvel at how love has grown as our familiarity with each other has increased and my dark moments are lightened. I know that whatever the day metes out, we will curl up together each night and know each other a bit more than we did the night before.